Crazy Shopping Excuses - Confessions Of A Shopaholic

Heart flutters, butterflies fly high in tummy, brain plays so many dreams, can't sleep, can't eat, restlessness - isss thiss loveee?(Tu hi bata naa, Ahaha..haha)

Nope, it's better than that, it's the shopping urge that completely grips your heart, mind and soul. Some people may call it mania. It's the nightmare of every recovering shopaholic(and their family). Like seasonal flu, the idea of buying enters and invades your brain and body, takes you over, out of nowhere - again and again. 

Crazy Shopping Excuses - Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Crazy Shopping Excuses - Confessions Of A Shopaholic

I have been a shopaholic for most of my life and made a major recovery by quitting shopping for 3+ years, before relapsing and then getting better and now again, I find my freak brain looking at all the shopping sites like a creep. This post is about the excuses, our brains comes up with to be a shopaholic again! I love the movie "Confessions of a shopaholic"(actually more than the book!) and I can relate to it 100%, so I have liberally showered this post with quotes from the movie.

"You know that thing when you see someone cute and he smiles and your heart kind of goes like warm butter sliding down hot toast? Well that’s what it’s like when I see a store. Only it’s better."

  • Sale! It's so cheap, I will never get it at such low prices.
  • FOMO : This is the new fashion and only I am missing this trend.
  • It's been so many days that I have shopped, so it's okay to buy(while the wardrobe overflows like the cheese out of a cheese burst pizza).
  • Big FOMO : I won't be able to wear it when I become old. It's now or never.
  • But it's so fluffy! Or it's so flowy, floral and fresh, soft and smooth, light, funky, cool, hot, cute, pastel...and another million attributes which even the designer wouldn't have thought of much.

  • "As I stare at it, I can feel little invisible strings, silently tugging me toward it. I have to touch it. I have to wear it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen."
  • I don't have this color.
  • I don't have this style.
  • Yeah, I know it's pandemic and I won't get a chance to wear any of these clothes, but..may be I can probably wear a sequined ruffle saree to vaccination or a short top to grocery shopping - Komal Pandey style.

  • What do you mean, I don't have the guts to wear it in public? 
  • Yes, I am still on my path to minimalism. Buying what you "need" and what you will "use" is not against minimalism.
  • Family: Tell me one place where you can wear this. Me: A 20 kg giant faux fur coat, that makes me look like Jon Snow is the only thing that will keep me warm in this 30 degree Celsius chilling weather.
  • At least I am not buying pizza, which is so unhealthy! *proceeds to stuff an entire pizza, unbuttoning the jeans to make room for chocolava*

  • "That moment. That instant when your fingers curl round the handles of a shiny, uncreased bag--and all the gorgeous new things inside it becomes yours. What’s it like? It’s like going hungry for days, them cramming your mouth full of warm buttered toast"
  • I got a free coupon from Gpay - 20 rupees off on 2000!
  • Life is short.
  • It's not me, it's pinterest!
  • It could have been worse, I could have been buying drugs, all I am buying is dresses.
  • I am worth it *flips hair like Loreal*
  • I am still worthy *flips majestic hair like Thor*
  • What value do savings provide you, it's the tiny things, live life! (When there are no savings and it's not happiness, it's just a pervasive addiction that's ruining life).
  • What if I die tomorrow?
  • I have been working so hard, I am under tremendous stress. I need a break.
  • I am bored.
  • I am sad, my life is miserable, let me just buy my happiness.

  • "If everyone could just wear new clothes every day, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore"
  • I have nothing to wear.
  • I am not spendthrifting! I am saving 200 in this sale and this 5000 item is an investment!

  • "I’m wearing all black - but expensive black. The kind of deep, soft black that you fall into. A simple sleeveless dress from Whistles, the highest of Jimmy Choos, a pair of stunning uncut amethyst earrings. And please don’t ask how much it all cost, because that’s irrelevant. This is investment shopping. The biggest investment of my life."
  • If you shop "a little" multiple times, you can't have a heart attack realizing how much you have actually spent.

"When I shop, the world gets better."
*chokes on my own tears*



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