35 Signs That You Are Growing Old

Growing old, the dreaded inevitable doomsdays are upon us(at least upon me). Resistance is futile and the only thing we can do is face it like an adult or just put a paper bag over head and lie down(Hitchhiker's style).

No one told me that adulting is so hard

"But I am not growing old!" Okay, here are few signs to know if that's really true:

1. You feel outdated/obsolete in every possible way.
2. You can't relate to the latest music trends(It's all rap in English songs and Punjabi beats in Hindi songs right now).
3. When young new joinees at office, who just graduated, talk about new technologies like Kibana and Grafana, you wonder if it's a new competitor to Dolce and Gabbana.
4. Remember when we thought fashion shows had absurd clothes - they are the daily norm now. Jeans? Who wears jeans unless you want to look like medieval or Renaissance period character wearing breeches? Punk pants and shararas are the trend!
5. Time flies. Always. "Wait, but wasn't I in college just yesterday?"
6.  You wonder from time to time, if you have been born in the dinosaur's age and forgot to die. "If I age anymore, I will become a fossil".
7. Damn kids calling you Aunty(or Uncle).
8. "Oh, this hanging-oscillating-big-round-fluffy thing? That's just my tummy and no I'm not pregnant".
9. "Are those traces of deepening wrinkles? Should I buy anti-ageing cream?"
10. "Everyone gets grey hair, alright..even kids get those, these days"
11. "What happened to TBBT..what are all these new TV series?"
12. At movies - "I don't remember watching such bold scenes like just 3 years back."
13. "Why am I always tired?"
14. I have been sleep deprived since so long that I may confess a crime I didn't commit just to sleep peacefully in prison like The Machinist.
15. My knees hurt...
16. More vitamin supplements please.
17. You stop in mid sentence - "When I grow old, I want to be a...oh wait"
18. Remember when you were young, you were all self-conscious - "Oh no, what will people think of me?". Once you start growing old, you have too many other things to worry about - "People need to accept me as I am"
19. Shopping back then - clothes, accessories, handbags, shoes; Now - groceries, file folders, maternity extension belt(not because of pregnant tummy but because of food tummy).
20. The question "How's life?" can sometimes break you down to tears or madness. "Let me tell you how's life - chores, work, chores".
21. The never ending to-do list and that fraction of a second where a to-do list seems completely done..that part of my life..that little part.. is called Happiness, then of course it gets filled with a whole new set of items.
22. When swagger is just a software and not what these teenagers try to capture it in low waist pants and backwards turned caps.
23. When people who work at hospitals start recognizing you.
24. Weekend plans? Chores, blood tests, nap, did I mention chores?
25. "Is that a double chin?"
26. When buying new baking containers excite you.
27. "Aren't the actors getting too young every year?"
28. "I'm gonna act like an adult anytime now..wait, am I adulting already?". Sometimes you surprise yourselves with the serious boring thing you have managed to accomplish.
29. When your bank account has more debits than credits..the bills keep coming in like Hogwarts letters.
30. Calls..why do people call? Why cant they just mail/text? What's with all the appointments I need to make and the socializing I need to do with small talk?
31. "What's next? Nothing else to do? That's too suspicious, I'm definitely forgetting something very important". Any break you get as an adult is definitely procrastination for something major in your life.
32. "Wish I could eat delicious food..but I'm cooking". Sigh.
33. You understand the aunties and uncles in your life better - why they get happy when they win a coupon, why they complain about maid, why does that coffee cup on sofa tick them off, why tupperware is so precious..And bam! You are an Aunty/Uncle.
34. When you finally find that one person who is being less adultier than you and the satisfaction and pride you feel is precious.
35. "Why is everyone having kids? Oh, that's what adults are supposed to do"

No Paramore, it ain't that fun living in the real world.

I rock at adulting, coz I'm a dog

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