Unlimited Positivity And Other Unicorn Things

Okay, after glorifying negativity last week, why am I writing about positivity? Why this sudden paradigm shift?

Because, nothing much happens in the barren lands of negativity, except for spiraling down further to the darkest worlds - out of which many have been already visited in the past, several times. It's a limbo state. It's "Dormammu, I've come to bargain". Thor could only mope so much before realizing he is still worthy. Hulk could only not hulk so much before reconciling with his other-self. Also, you can't always answer "How do you spend your free time?" with "crying"...it's little bit odd, you know.

Unlimited Positivity And Other Unicorn Things
Unlimited Positivity And Other Unicorn Things

So how do we do this? Don't worry, I am not going to talk about law of attraction - The Secret stuff, things manifesting magically because you visualized them, power of nauseating positivity, blind faith that universe is your die hard fan etc.

  1. Be brave : If you believe that you are at your rock bottom, chances are that things can only stay that way or get better(yeah, yeah, I know, there are rock bottoms underneath rock bottom - but you get the point). So what have you got to loose? How much more worse can your situation get? Why be anxious already about failure before even attempting? Chances are that not taking action and being stuck here is costing you more than taking action and failing at it. So, curb your fears and be brave to do something, to pursue that scary thing, you have got nothing(or almost nothing) to lose
  2. No sad potato-ing: Self pity is an infinity loop. We don't just focus on the current problem, we spiral it down to all the negative things about us at 3 AM in bed, finally concluding something like "I am hopeless, this is just my life". Sometimes, we blame someone for our shortcomings and chances are that, we may be right. But it's on us, if we stay that way. Get out of the victimhood. Take complete responsibility of your happiness and of your life. Look at all the sob stories(excuses) you tell yourself for not being able to do something and see how much truth they actually hold. Rewrite them. Be grateful about what you already have. For every negative thing routinely said by your inner voice out of habit, try to see the truth in it and replace it with something positive(even tiny bit).
  3. Respect yourself: If you don't respect yourself, no one else would. Being a person with low self esteem all my life, I know for a fact, that people can sense your insecurities - it's you who actually point it all out with bright neon signs without even realizing. Not everyone would be kind to you, bullies can and will always take advantage of it. Don't be nice for the sake of being nice - someone has offended you and you stay mum to not offend them? Set boundaries. Confront the situation, instead of stabbing that person in your head forever. Don't be passive aggressive, voice it out. 
  4. Love yourself: Honor the things you can't change about yourself. Work on the things, that can be improved. But never ever hate yourself. Accept yourself completely. Strive to be someone, whom you can approve. Self-loathing is worse than self-pitying. As much fun self-depreciating humor can be, stop it, if you already struggle with self-love issues. Do not compare yourself with anyone. Don't bother about what anyone thinks about you. Forgive yourself, for all the times you have fallen down beyond your own standards. Take care of your physical and mental health. Take up space. Ask, fight for what you want. Take control, steer you career and life by yourself, create the life you would love to live. Trust yourself and show yourself that you can be trusted by small wins.
  5. Your tribe: Spend more time with people who lift you up and support you. Let go of the small fights and grudges. These are the only people you have actually got.
  6. Mentors: Get help. Seek out the people who have done, what you dream of doing. Have a role model and figure out how they did it.
  7. Let it all go: How much time do you spend about the person you hate - thinking about how you will one day show them who you can be? By doing this, we are not just letting this person live rent free in our consciousness forever, but also making them the center of our life and decisions. They are not worth it. Make them insignificant - by completely eliminating them from your life and mind. Cut down toxic people. Don't plan your revenge, instead plan your life well. A well lived life is revenge itself. Forgive them, for your sake and let yourself off the hook.
  8. Act, but don't overwhelm yourself: You don't have to figure our your entire life, you just need to figure our your next move. Break down that huge elephant of a task into tiny pieces. Focus on the NOW. Current piece of work only. Make it count. Actually work only on it in a dedicated time slot - with no breaks or excuses. Don't half-ass it. Be consistent and diligent. Focus on the most important thing - which is mostly your own self-agenda. Delegate whatever you can. 80/20 principle: Done is always better than perfect.
  9. Don't relapse: Took a decision? Stick by it. Temptations, distractions, addictions, self-doubt, second thoughts can always creep in - this is why hard and fast rules exist. You never break them, you always abide by them - no matter what. Don't be paralyzed by the overwhelming choices and overwhelming work to do. Do you research, without getting stuck in it forever and make a decision - don't go back. Don't cave into old bad habits. You know them well enough, set up obstructions to your distractions when you are high on motivation. Stop self-sabotaging. Walk slow, but never backwards. Don't procrastinate, don't stagnate and don't settle. Always act on next best thing. Know that anything that's against the initial set goal(write it on a post-it and stick it somewhere you can see), is Resistance. Always be in the same mindset - take the help of anything that will let you be in it - inspiring music, ambitious peers, group work etc. Don't undo all the progress you have made and don't drive with one leg on accelerator and one leg on brake.
  10. Have hope: Hope, Faith, Belief, Law of attraction - whatever it is, after doing everything you can, stop worrying about the things you can't control. Don't drive yourself mad into panic mode and stop yourself from improving the things that are in your control. Meditate, nap, doodle - anything to calm your nerves. Don't be dejected by failures and just learn from them, instead of quitting altogether. 

I know that somethings in this list are quite tough, which is why we can always fake it till we make it.



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