30 Stupid Things To Do At Office

So while everyone is going crazy about Game Of Thrones, here I am watching The Office and I really feel that my office is pretty much like that. This also made me realize that I can waste my time at office in more better ways.

Being Stupid At Office

1. Do all the pranks from The Office which Jim has pulled on Dwight. Nothing else beats this.
2. Read a novel by pasting it as code comments in IDE. Switch tabs from time to time to not look suspicious.
3. Browse Quora, Reddit, xkcd, etc.
4. Plug in to awesome music and forget what you are working on.
5. Watch youtube videos or prime or hotstar on mobile so that your manager can't see that you are having fun at office.
6. Take long washroom breaks. If someone questions it, say that you are Rapunzel and it takes long time to brush your hair.
7. Sure, you had one mid day break. But what about a second mid day break?
8. Just walk around busily from cube to cube, your manager will think that you are being all busy collaborating with team.
9. Take your friends to a conference room and chit chat, to outsiders it looks like you are having a KT session going on.
10. Work out is more important than work. Hit the office gym.
11. Worry about next round of layoffs, but don't lift a finger to switch job.
12. Get excited by the "salary credited" message. Then proceed to check the amount credited and get depressed.
13. Write the lyrics of wrecking ball in your appraisal and see if your manager notices that.
14. Stand ominously behind your teammates and stare at their monitor as they work on their code.
15. Oh look it's snack time. Stuff your desk with lots of junk food, you need fat to work better.
16. Check repeatedly if it's time to leave for the day.
17. Chat with your office bestie, it will look as if you are trying to arrive at a very important design decision by taking inputs from co-worker.
18. Get keys for sick room and sleep till it's time to leave for the day.
19. Take a nap at your desk. Tell everyone that naps make you productive.
20. Manager on leave? Time to leave for the day.
21. Why waste time at desk when you can waste it in pointless hour long meetings that never conclude?
22. Status call? Just say "It's done" and nothing else like a supari killer. Pretty sure there won't be any follow up questions.
23. Spend the first half of the day answering thesis length mails.
24. Bug? Convince everyone that it's intended design. "It's a feature!"
25. If anyone asks why you are idle, say that "build is running", "IDE froze", "DB down", "building on fire" etc
26. How to waste time officially? Organize frequent fire drills.
27. Spend all the time at office in volunteering for different events.
28. Gossip in your 1-1 with manager. Make him feel part of the team.
29. Customer issue? While you fix it forever, distract them with workarounds like - "try a different browser", "restart the server", "delete cache", "align the stars and planets" etc.
30. Have small meltdowns on every Monday and cry in washroom.

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PS: I am ashamed that I wrote this in 10 minutes because I do most of these and didn't have to think much.

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"Well, today was a fantastic waste of time"  - Ryan

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