The Stalking Monster of Your Life

Imagine you are at your favorite coffee shop with your best friend whom you are meeting after ages. You both are rewinding old memories, laughing and having great time.

Now imagine a giant filthy Monster arriving at the same place and sitting close to you - always in your view. This monster is hideous and stinks. But no one else can see it. You lost your interest on your coffee that seemed like heaven minutes ago. You can't focus on what your friend is talking about. That monster has all your attention. In fact, it's been following you everywhere - when you were reading your favorite book, when you were watching your favorite movie, when you were working, when you were celebrating your birthday/anniversary - It's stalking you forever and it's omnipresent.

The Monster
The Monster


You wonder "How did I end up like this?"

In the beginning, there was just this tiny puppy sized, may be even cute, little Monster that followed you around. But you ignored it when it was little and cute. Now it's hard to ignore a giant, hideous, stinking Monster.


Tiny Monster
Tiny Monster

But you still try to go on with your life making it part of your life like traffic. You try to suppress it's presence by adding small celebrations to your life, by shopping, wearing that new top, getting that new haircut, etc. But the Monster stinks up all your events - all your life.

At any point in our life, we are always faced with problems - that's Life. These problems aren't constant and keep changing over time. Some problems are necessary for our own good - like the challenges faced in new work items after promotion. Then there are Monster problems. No, these are not like a big challenge that takes too much effort, time and resources. These are usually tiny problems which you have been ignoring all your life and which grew in size(negative impact) over time to giant Monsters.

Everyone has Monster or Monsters that have become part of their lives. We have learned to live with them instead of dealing with them. They are always there in the back of our minds.

You can do a zillion things to make your life better, but unless you get rid of the Monster, your life will continue to suck.
This is like the Pareto 80/20 principle - we are trying to fix 80% stuff that only contributes to 20% Life. Fixing the Monster will fix 80% Life, but we always fail to see it that way.

A chain is no stronger than it's weakest link.
This Monster is like the "slowest hiker" that slows down the entire hiking team.

"Constraints are the obstacles holding the whole system back.
What is the “slowest hiker” in your job or your life? What is the obstacle that is keeping you back from achieving what really matters to you?
"
-The Essentialist

Even if you improve everything else, if you dont address the constraints -your life will not improve.

It doesn't matter if you shower your partner with dozens of gifts without addressing the major problems in your relationship.
It doesn't matter if you try to indulge more in your hobbies to compensate for yet another bad day at work.
These are all like eating chia seeds to cure cancer - it doesn't work that way!

Identify the Monster/“slowest hiker”/constraints - you probably already know. The thing that struck your mind first when you read about Monster is probably good one to start with.

Some Monsters are disguised or hidden, so you may need to take a long and hard look at your life. Unless you do Root Cause Analysis, you won't find the Monster lurking behind tiny puppies.

Address the Monster before it's too late and before they become disruptive to your life.

~

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