How to Solve Your Problems (sarcasm) - 33 Proven Ways!
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| Solve x? |
- Complain and whine about it.
- Stay mad about it all the time.
- Blame everyone. It's not because of your inaction, but it's because the world is cruel.
- Do you know that playing the game of thrones(politics) is easier than to actually do the thing that solves the problem?
- Tell the world about the million reasons that's stopping you from solving the problem - "too busy", "I have this health issue", a raccoon...
- You know what you need? Yet another self help book! Yass!
- Call it all a rat race and tell the kids(or the rats), that you, the supra-ultra-philosoraptor are beyond it.
- What's a problem? What's a solution? What's this world? Everything is a matrix. Just ignore them till they go away.
- Quote Geeta and say that everything is Maya. Reality is just media propaganda and communist manifesto. If someone tries to be over smart and quotes Geeta's "Karma Yoga" (action as the step to Moksha/liberation), tell them you believe in only the principles that suit you.
- Shh..just close your eyes. Your problems can't see you now.
- "Bro, it's just my fate bro. It's written in my stars."
- "Bro, let's just chill. Babaji ki booti solves all the problems. Samasya zero. "
- Get an actual Babaji ki booti. (For the naive ones, the one in the above point is weed.)
- Wear more stone rings till you become Thanos and then, just snap your fingers. Everything will be alright and balanced.
- Add more "K" letters to your name. Numerology is the solution.
- Blame it on Shani. "Saturn's in 9th house, I am helpless till it moves out of it." In this grand universe, all Saturn cares about is your puny existence and your problems. It may just throw a tantrum and demand an expensive ritual to move for you.
- Stick motivational posters all around your room. Make sure they have sunrise as background, we are aiming for maximum motivational effect here.
- How do you expect to solve a problem without planning it for ten years? You must have an exhaustive blue print.
- Buy colorful scrapbook materials like glittery pens, sticky notes, ribbons, buttons, quill paper and journals with quotes on every page. This is to track your progress on solving the problem when the journal will be all ready and decorated after five years.
- Set Shawshank Redemption as your phone wallpaper. Or better buy a phone case with the same print.
- Step by step process is for losers. You gotta do everything today. Weight problem? If you fail to lose at least 20 KGs in a week, you are a loser.
- Do you know what's interesting than solving your problems? The wall. Look at it. Stare at it. Admire it's beauty. (Because Deewaron se nazar nahi hatthi. It's Katrina's paints ad which I shouldn't be remembering. I have no life. So..)
- Get a coffee mug and water bottle with motivational text. "You are a unicorn, Harry"
- Watch inspiring videos 24*7.
- Listen to motivational songs - Eye of the tiger or Work B*, whatever motivates you better.
- Stalk people on Facebook and see how successful they are. That will help.
- What? It's 10.01 now and you thought of starting the task at 10? Too bad, you gotta wait for the clock to strike a perfect 11.
- Hey! You can't work on this problem until you finish off your other important problems like chores. You can dread chores only when you have nothing to do.
- You know what, you should first focus on eating healthy and Yoga before you consider your career problem. Because they are totally related.
- Really? You expect to work on the task in such messy surroundings? Clean up your desk, your room, your house, the street, and the city. Swachh Bharat! Make it perfect. Color coordinate everything so that it's easy on your eyes and brain - match the curtains to your socks.
- First, a To-Do list...of other To-Do lists. ToDoCeption.
- Read all about how the task should be done on Quora, Medium and Reddit. "The art of coding Hello World"
- Cry in a corner. I personally vouch for this, works all the time. True story.
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